I can’t live like this
Mostly where did you go hornet? Where? WHERE? WHERE. FEAR.
Our story begins around 12pm today when I thought it would be a great idea to go for a run and exited my room only to find a raging flying monster of doom excitedly buzzing around my kitchen. I tried to escape my apartment several times only to be chased out of the kitchen by said doom monster. I laid in wait for 7 hours in my bedroom, paralyzed by fear until it looked like the bringer of death was finally resting peacefully. Believing I was safe I crept out to the kitchen and made myself dinner.. MISTAKES. My dinner ended up creating a lot of smoke that I had to vent out the door which made the death monger very aroused and it dive bombed me unexpectedly, sent me sprawling on the floor screaming for my mother and reduced me to shedding a tear or two.
Hours later I was finally able to sneak out for the run I intended to partake in 9 hours previous and all was well (though I was chased down by a horse fly, these insects are out for blood today), the beast was asleep once more just above the door to my apartment. It hung from a plant hook like a mistletoe harbinger of misery but did not bother me upon my exit, it let me escape with my life this time.
Finally I decided that enough was enough. Despite my allergy I figured its probably 1/1000 of my size and I could take it! I opened Spotify, found One-winged angel, and took a bottle of Clorox in hand. It was sleeping peacefully and by the time I had reached it I already began to feel guilty (what if this is my hornet fairy godmother coming to save my life and warn me off the dangers of the outside?) but nevertheless I sprayed that mother fucker until it starting flying around more furiously than I had ever seen it.
I shortly abandoned my pride and the pep talk I had given myself before embarking on this mission and ran for the bathroom screaming “ITS MAD ITS MAD ITS MAD” until safely locked inside. Never one to risk safety, I sprayed every crack in the door with Clorox and hid until I was sure the beast had died.
As it turns out the beast is still alive and crawling around my ceiling I am so terrified I might throw up this is the Lazarus of hornets someone please come kill it.
Dear gods of romance, should I ever deign to spend my oh so precious time with another person, please let it be someone who will not get furious with me over imagined offenses to their manhood 5 years after we’ve concluded our business with each other. ’From one idiot to the next’ seems my relationship mantra.
I’ve managed to avoid a serious relationship for three years now so here’s to 10 more with my books and my cat.
or until bleed week is over.
-Finish tea.
-Go for a long long LONG walk until less angsty.
-Pack more.
-Act II, DIII: Hardcore avec brohon.
confessions of an ex-teenager.
I’ve been ignoring this tumblr for my fitblr la la I am awesome and kind of obsessed la la.
Feeling grumpy >=[
